Dear Rold Gold Pretzels

Dear Rold Gold Pretzels,

I am writing you today to complain about the consistently non-pretzel shaped pretzels that I find in you Rold Gold Classic Style Tiny Twists 1/2oz bags of pretzels. Please see enclosed proof of said pretzels. I have collected these intermittently over the past couple months, and the few I'm sending your way represent a very small sample of what I've possibly consumed or perhaps have shown to another co-worker, asking, "What does this look like to you?"

You may keep these defective pretzels; I do not wish these returned as they've grown stale.

I've eaten a lot of pretzels in my time, and while you do a good job with your pretzel sticks, your true pretzel shaped pretzels lack the build and character of an item worthy of such a fine tasting recipe. For every 1/2oz bag, there are always at least 2 (and up to 7 in one count) of misshapen pretzels found.

We go through a great deal of these 1/2oz bags of pretzels in my office, buying the bulk boxes of these and using them to fill the snack bowls in the conference room where we hold our executive level meetings. Sure, the taste of the pretzel is probably the most important attribute, but when the look, feel and shape of the pretzel distracts from that... a little piece of the whole enjoyment factor dies.

I'm led to believe that there might be a QA (Quality Assurance) challenge in your fine pretzel sorting establishment that you may not be aware of. Or if your operation is anything like the one I'm a part of, perhaps they have a difficult time in handling poor performing individuals. I hope this is not true, but if you do indeed find that someone might be lacking the skills to filter out more of the bizarre shaped snacks (you may use the included pretzels as grounds for dismissal), I would be interested in applying for the position of Rold Gold Pretzel Quality Control Manager.

Thank you for your time, and I appreciate the delicious snack your company puts out.

Twisted,

Daniel