Dear Sharp Electronics

Dear Sharp Electronics,

I am writing you today to ask for some assistance with a product of yours that I had recently purchased from a thrift store. In fact, I am writing you from the very item I bought, a Sharp branded PA-3110 typewriter that I found sitting in the back of the thrift store for $5.45. The thing... it works perfectly, save for a warped top piece... possibly due to being left in the heat for too long. Other than that, I believe I got this thing for a steal.

The problem is, I spent some time online trying to find a source for the operating manual for this unit, as I have been attempting to set the margins. I think this is done electronically and not manually, but I'm not 100% sure about that. The RETURN feature seems to kick off a bit prematurely, so I was hoping that someone on your staff would be able to give me a quick walkthrough for this typewriter, or maybe send me an old manual that you might have laying around. That'd be awesome.

While I have to admit that there aren't too many items in my home that I own being of the Sharp brand, I do find that the things you produce are of a superior quality. I've had a calculator from you guys for years, and it still works great.

Thanks for all you do, and thanks in advance for your assistance.

Sincerely,

Daniel

Dear Outback Steakhouse

Dear Outback Steakhouse,

I am writing you today to share about my recent experience dining at your restaurant located on Merchants Rd in Knoxville, TN. At least, I think it was on Merchants Rd. Possibly store No. 0077. The date and time of our visit was 12/17 at 5:54pm.

What had happened was, me and my lady were wanting to have an easy date night out, and having just received a $50 gift card from my father in California, we opted to give your fine dining establishment a try. She is big on onion things, and I know that bloomin' onion appetizer would woo her just right.

So we ordered. We got appetizers, and then asked if we could sort of customize our dinners a bit by excluding certain items we might not be too jazzed about, like mushrooms. The server acknowledged we could.

Yet lo, these modifications did not happen. Slimy, gooey mushroom were all over my Rubs & Alice. Not being that big a stickler for this though, I started to brush them off, although I did point it out to the server when she came around. She insisted that she be allowed to bring out a replacement dish... and attempt to mend the situation. I said no, but she was insistent.

She won out, and I let her prepare a new dish.

That did not come out until my lady was finished with her dinner. Talk about an uncomfortable date.

I need to make it known, I have eaten at an Outback twice in the past year. The other was in Burbank, CA. And both of those times, my meal was not made to order. C'mon, guys... it can't be that hard. I have my doubts on if I'll ever go back, but I do appreciate the time and attention to these matters.

Thank you,

Daniel

Dear Yoplait

Dear Yoplait,

I am writing you today to turn in a small handful of pink lids to help in the fight of breast cancer prevention. Being a man, I have a great deal of interest in saving breasts.

Please find enclosed eight clean pink lids. I would have more, but unfortunately, my favorite Yoplait yogurt is your Cherry Orchard flavor, and everywhere I have looked, the lids are just the plain silvery ones. This seems odd to me, but I'm sure you have your reasons for hating cherries.

Keep on in the fight,

Daniel

Reply - Bed Bath & Beyond

I received a response today.

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Click here to read my original letter to Bed Bath & Beyond from November 1, 2010.

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The reply:

Looks to be a genuine reply to me... perhaps I'll drop her an email. Although now the problem is that I moved 2500 miles away since receiving this reply, so who knows if they'd be able to help me resolve my can opener challenges.

Dear Dick's Sporting Goods

Dear Dick's Sporting Goods,

I am writing you today to ask about your supply of various quality dart board supplies. I recently made my first visit to your fine athletics superstore, and was pleased when I found an aisle dedicated to the sport of darts, but was almost immediately displeased when I found the majority of your supplies were of the plastic tipped variety... boards and darts alike.

While I've played on both the traditional bristle boards and the ones intended for plastic tipped darts, my preference is for the former. There's almost nothing quite as satisfying as the solid zzz-THUD!, and there's no doubt that the bristle boards should comprise the lion's share of your darting inventory.

Your steel tipped dart options were quite lacking. There were a few empty slots, and only a few other weight and skill level options for me to pick from out of the Unicorn line. Dick's Sporting Goods, I am a man of moderately sophisticated tastes when it comes to my darts. Material, weight, brand, flights, shaft, ability to change these at will... I wish your store would limit the use of the plastic junk instead of allowing it to take over such what should otherwise be an exceptional section of your shopping establishment.

Otherwise, the rest of your store is quite awesome. Keep up the good work.

Warm regards,

Daniel

Dear Home Depot

Dear Home Depot,

I am writing you today to share some concerns I had when I visited one of your fine shopping establishments in Knoxville, TN, the one on Schaad Road specifically. While I don't believe I've ever had a bad experience at Home Depot, I do have to say that some things stood out to me over this past weekend when me and my lady were doing some shopping for home improvement items. In fact, I made about 6 visits to Home Depot over the past week as our home improvement needs continually grew.

My first undertaking was to start on refinishing an old oak work table that my lady found on Craigslist. This thing looked horrible, but we both recognized it to be a solid piece of furniture... and so we bought it with intentions of making it new again. While stripping it down was straight forward for us, we found that a new top needed to be put on... and so I asked one of your sales clerks as to if Home Depot had Formica on hand, which I was told no, and he left it at that. I wasn't set on Formica, but wanted to see how it might fly as an option.

What I found only an hour ago was that you have an entire laminate countertop section on your website, homedepot.com, and that you do seem to have some options available by way of Formica. None of this was offered up my way.

But, I have to tell you, this is okay. I ended up finding a sheet of oak plywood that I had cut down to size. At Lowe's. Not that I'm saying you didn't have this same type of oak plywood, but I they were able to offer me some alternate options so they got my business on that one.

The other thing is, you don't seem to have any traditional plastic handbaskets for light shopping needs. We've got a 4 year old that we bring with us when we make our family trips to the store, and it works well when I can have just one hand free to help maintain social civility with the little one. Just thought that might be a small place of improvement. Thanks for all you offer. I love the way your store smells.

Sincerely,

Daniel

Dear Krystal Burgers

Dear Krystal Burgers,

I am writing you today to tell you about my first and possibly only Krystal Burgers experience of my life. Firstly, I should explain that I born and raised in Southern California, where Krystal is not known. Recently I moved to Tennessee as part of a spontaneous move, and along my drive I saw what had to have been hundreds of your unique looking dining establishments.

I must admit, I'm not all that keen on eating a lot of fast food, but I'm a sucker for novelty type food items and had decided that I needed to give your joint a try. All I knew is about it is that you guys make and sell mini-hamburgers. I had to be sly about this, too, as my lady friend and I had decided to eat healthy and prepare only home cooked foods in an attempt to lead a better lifestyle.

But... I needed to try one of these burgers.

A bit before noon, while I was running some errands at Home Depot, I made a quick swing through the drive-through of your 5219 Clinton Hwy location in Knoxville, TN. I ordered a single Krystal burger, no onions.

And upon paying for and receiving my Krystal burger, I found not only the smell of onions wafting up from the bag, but there were onions all over my pale gray, slimy burger. I double checked the receipt and verified that it said no onions, which it did. I am confused as to why this was too difficult a request for your griller to handle, though.

Seriously? I mean... really? I could understand if you've got six year old manning the grill back there, but I'm fairly sure there's a literate adult, or at least a semi-literate teenager working there.

You disappoint me, Krystal Burgers. It's probably better that I got this experience out of the way sooner than later.

Daniel

Dear Comcast

Dear Comcast,

I am writing you today to share with you my first experience trying to obtain residential internet and television services through your company. The process was extremely frustrating, and I am hesitant to recommend your company to others based on the challenges you've thrown my way. For a communications company, you make it almost impossible to activate services by way of a phone call. That is a sad state of affairs right there...

I am a recent Tennessee transplant. Upon arriving in Tennessee, I was told that I really only had one internet option, Comcast. And so I placed a call to your 800-COMCAST number this past Monday, where I was asked by a robot lady for my phone number. This started a cycle of me being hung up on, me calling back, and being sent around in a series of loops that got me nowhere until I decided to make up my own keypad entries.

It went like this: I punch in my new Tennessee mobile phone number, and indicated I was not a current Comcast customer. The robot lady informed me she could not locate my account, which seemed like redundant info. The robot gave me some options for types of service, so I indicated I wished to speak to a sales account executive. The robot told me there was a wait, and then they hung up on me.

This happened three times. You hung up on me three times when I was trying to find out about available services. I did not wish to give you my business at this point.

On my fourth try, I don't enter a phone number and press '0' in hopes of getting an operator, but instead it asks me for a zip code. I key this info in, and then it loops me around and says I need to put in my phone number.

So, I mash down on my keypad in frustration. I think I hit '*' this time, and I hear the phone ring... and a woman named Jasmine picks up. I tell her that I'm trying to find out what services are available in my area, and she tells me she can't assist as she is based out of Atlanta, GA. Instead, she gives me the number 865-637-5411, telling me that's my local number for Comcast direct. And so I call, and another robot lady stats asking me if I need helping setting up my digital migration equipment. She asked a series of 8 questions that I could not answer, resulting in me hanging up.

An hour passes.

I call back. The same digital migration questions were posed to me, and so I hit '*' and end up on the line with a Christine after waiting about 15 minutes. Christine is helpful, although it took a while to walk through the options. All I wanted was internet, which was quoted to me at $59.95/mo. I was told there was a package option of the same internet plus basic cable for $49.95 + $16.95, although I explained that this would ultimately cost me more, so why would I do that? After talking with her for a while, what I ended up getting in the end was internet and basic cable for $49.99/mo, which includes modem rental.

Why not just offer that from the start, hm? I don't understand your method of doing business, Comcast. So while Christine was friendly, and the two technicians who came to do the activation were helpful and very expedient, your whole system of making sales and helping the customer via phone could use some work. That is all.

A Comcast Customer,

Daniel